Changing...

It's funny. A year ago you would ask me what I enjoyed doing or what was my stress reliever I would have told you going out with girlfriends to have drinks or partying it up at a club. You ask me today...I would say scrapbooking, cooking or curling up with the hubby and watching a really good movie. Isn't it funny how you change as you get older? I know I am 25 but...my whole life has changed over this last year.

What has changed? Well my mom passed away in November. I had my baby boy in December and my husband fell in a grain elevator in April. Yup...30 feet onto concrete. Tim broke his L1-L5 vertebrae, pelvis (completely through laterally) and crushed his sacrum. I am so lucky to still have him. All of that trauma and he is still able to walk! He will probably never be back 100% but I am just really glad to have him. He is my best friend.
All that stress it's no wonder I found my first gray hair about a month ago. And since then I have really been thinking about getting old. Just to be clear I am not saying having my baby was a stress...I am just saying having a new baby and a daddy that wasn't able to help much was tough.

All these thoughts about getting old makes me wonder what I will be like when I am 50? Will I be well off? Will I have grandbabies? Will I still be young at heart? I have noticed how much my tastes have changed even turning from 20 to 25. It makes wonder how much more my taste will change.

Also...thinking about growing old...I am glad that I had my babies younger in life. (Tegan when I was 20 and Jensen when I was 24) This way maybe I won't be 2 old to do things with them. My mom was 36 when she had me and it kind of sucked at times. She didn't want to play with me I always had to play with my brothers and sisters. Don't get me wrong she was a great mom. She was very stable we never had to worry about where our next meal would come from or if we would have a phone or cable. It just was she wasn't very hip or into fashion. She would rather sit around a read books and watch T.V. with my step dad then go outside and play with me. Also another thing...lol she couldn't understand why I wanted a $100.00 pair of jeans instead of going to Walmart and having a pair of those. (This was before Wal-mart had cute clothes!)

Haha...but I guess she made me who I am today. And I am thankful for that. :) I just think sometimes I get down on myself because I think what if I would have waited to have kids until I was done with college or what if I would have waited until we were better off. Well there are no more what ifs...I am glad. My babies are happy...healthy...and soon we will be okay. No more struggling...no more worrying. :) Just as soon as Tim and I finish school! (Hopefully we will be able to find jobs after that! haha!)