The devil is working on me.....

It has been one of those days. Nothing has gone right at work...and I just feel like crying. Honestly, it has been a hard week and it is only Wednesday! Monday, I got a letter from my moms lawyer saying that there was nothing that they could do after a year of dragging it out. Then we were cleaning out closets on my lunch break and I had to face her belongings these were belongings that I just tucked away...until I could handle them. I guess I wasn't ready..or maybe it was the fact that I got that letter and her death meant nothing that same day. Who knows....all I know is I miss my mommy. :)

That same day when I got back to work I found out that some of my transfer credits weren't going to count. So besides the program I will have to take four extra classes or either write Life Essays for three of them and pray that it gains me the credit that I need. I was so excited about college now I am just kind of bummed.

I tried not to let it all this get me down. I was rolling with the punches minus being alittel bummed. I tried to focus on the fact I was working out, eating good and building my relationship with God. These are great things...that I am really enjoying.

Then the next punch came....I was told my loan on my house was transferred to a new company and I will have to send in a bunch of crap that I already sent not once but twice to the previous company....frustrating! I just pray that God takes the wheel. I need him now more than ever. I really don't want to lose our house!

This morning my daughter Tegan threw the biggest fit when my husband dropped her off at school. She just hates preschool anymore. She is way too advanced for her class. I called her teacher today and we are going to work on it. I just feel bad for Tegan. I am afraid I might have made the wrong decision pulling her out of her old "school." It might be time to shop around or let her stay home. She only gets to be a kid once and then when she starts Kindergarten it is school for the rest of her life til after college. Who knows. I just know I don't want her bored in Kindergarten. I want her to enjoy school and her friends.

Now after typing all of this the reason why I am upset this afternoon doesn't seem so bad. I am just stressed at work. A co-worker is quitting and the Medicaid system is changing and I guess I don't adapt to change very well in my older age. (Yes, I know I am 25...but still lol)

SO PLEASE GOD...TELL THE DEVIL LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T THINK I CAN TAKE MUCH MORE... :) I KNOW HE IS WORKING ON ME...BECAUSE I AM TRYING TO BETTER MY LIFE AND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.

Taco Soup

Tegan and I prepared supper last night so it would be ready when I got home from work today. We made Taco Soup. I had never had this before...but it sounded good. Here is the receipe.Taco Soup--

1.5 lbs ground beef
1/2 onion, chopped
1 can black beans
1 can whole kernel corn, drained
1 can Rotel tomatoes
1/2 package taco seasoning mix

1/2 package Original Hidden Valley Ranch dressing (dry)
2 1/2 cups water

Brown ground beef and onions in a large pan, and drain off fat.

Add remaining ingredients and simmer for an hour or so.

Tim and I are going to add corn bread to the soup when we eat it tonight. We tested it last night...and it tasted better with the cornbread mixed in. :) (And cheaper in calories than adding the fritos, cheese and sourcream. ) But it is up to you. :)

1st day down.... ;-)

I am proud of myself! (**Patting myself on the back**) I went to the gym for the first time yesterday. The trainer took me around and showed me how to use all of the machines. I had some difficulty doing what she told me to do. Like not bending my elbows when I wasn't suppose to or not sticking my butt out far enough. I have two more training sessions before they let me loose so I am sure I will get the hang of it. The gym is only women which is nice. The women at the gym are very supportive. It was kind of nice while I was trying to learn what the heck I was doing they were giving me pointers and what worked for them. It almost seems like one big happy family out there.

Well wish me luck...I am going again tonight when I get off work. I can't wait to get this extra weight off! :) My goal is 25 pounds by March 30th...and I have already lost 3 of them. I can do this! I did it before I can do it again.

Cooking :)

I have decided this was a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Tegan and I decided to make some beef stew. We cut up all of the fresh veggies...well all but the corn, green beans, and tomatoes. Browned our stew meat and added it all into a big pan. Topped it off with water and some beef bouillon cubes and let it boiled/simmer for 3 hours. I can't wait to have some for lunch!!

Tegan once again wearing her 5 shirt. She loves it so much!! I think she is proud to be 5!

The mess we made cutting up all the veggies...:)

Yes we even dropped some of the floor. And the dogs wouldn't eat!

Our stew ready to cook. :)

And now some pictures to laugh at. I guess Jensen wanted a bedtime snack. I could hear him in the kitchen doing something... I went in there and he was in the fridge...

He had uncovered our leftover chicken and noodles we had at dinner..

And was eating the noodles...

Boys! Tegan still doesn't get into the fridge without asking....:)

Weekend

Sometimes moms just have to get away. So that is just what Angela and I did! :) We did something this weekend that I have never done before! We went to her brothers tattoo shop/bar. And for the first time I got to watch people mosh! I have seen it on T.V. but never in real life! I was 2 scared to do it myself...and I got way back in the corner when it was going on...but it was fun to watch! I know little things impress me. ;)

Here are a couple pictures from the night...

Ang and I getting ready to hit the town..

Bobbi and I :)

The band at The Beer Can

It was a neat change of pace. I am not sure I could ever be a real rocker...but it was fun for the night to hang out in a totally different place. :) But after it was all said and done I couldn't wait to get home to my family.

Oh Jensen your crazy!

My son is crazy! He is a climber! He climbs on chairs...tables...couches...and now he's trying to climb out of his crib! It must be a boy thing because Tegan was NEVER that way. Last night when I was doing the dishes while Tim was gone with Jack getting his new puppy and Tegan was at church Jensen decided that he needed to get up on the table....

And the only way to stop him from doing it was:

Here is Tegan with the newest addition to Jack's family.

His son Brandon has decided to name him JoJo. This puppy is a wild child! We are babysitting it until Jack leaves to go back to Iowa. Well this morning while Tim was taking it out to go to the bathroom it got off it's leash and ran and ran. I chased it for about 15 mintues before I had to head back to work with no luck. It is so fast!! Tim finally caught it almost an hour later. Good thing he is a cutie!

Well I better get back to work. That was my excitement for the day!

Goal

MY GOAL IS SELF-IMPROVEMENT!

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
*Watch the news
*Read the newspaper daily
--Reasoning--I feel like there is so much more to this world than I know about.
*Reading at least one chapter a night of a book before going to bed
--Reasoning--If I have a love for reading it will rub off on my kids. I know it is one of the best gifts you can give your kids. Also it will help me!! I am the one of the world’s worst spellers. (Yes, I am going to blame it on spellchecker)

WHY ALL THIS CHANGE/WANTING SELF-IMPROVEMENT?
My kids are getting older day by day and I want to be able to give them a good life. Yes, life is good right now. I am able to buy them the things that they need and want. I know as my children get older they are going to want name brand clothes or be able to play in sports and oh yes...a decent car. They are going to want to go to college and I am going to have to help pay for that. And with our finances the way they are right now there is no way we could afford to do that.

IN MY HEAD....
At this very moment I feel like I am being very selfish by not improving myself so they can have the better things in life. The only thing I have going for me is that I start my BA program in March. I can't wait to start this. I finally feel like I am ready! I am so excited about this.

MORE IMPROVING INSIDE AND OUT--
I am going to start eating healthy all the time. I have done it before I can do it again. I want my kids to be healthy. I want to set a good example. I am going to be more active. I know it is hard in the winter but there are things that you can do. So I need to do them. This will help my kiddos too. If they see mom up doing things they are going to want to be up doing things. Tegan is 5 and Jensen is 1 if I start now surely I can establish good healthy habits for life.

WHY BLOG ABOUT THIS??
I am putting all of this out there because I need to be accountable. I feel like if I publish this for the world to see...I will know deep down in my heart that I can't fail.

CLOSURE--
So right now...I am on cloud nine....there is nothing that is going to stand in my way. I want this more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. I am 25 years old now. My whole outlook on life is changing. It is time to be an adult! Come hell or high water!